It's a billboard for your junk! Let us know what color and size you "wear" and we'll print to order!

Rulers are available in a 9 ¾" maximum length in honor of Mr. Ron Jeremy, hero to children everywhere.

Rulers are available in a 3" minimum length in honor of Paul Frank, scourge of children everywhere.

It's a smooth ride and she gets great mileage.

If your god doesn't, mine probably does. And if you're somehow in good with mine, someone else's probably has it out for you.

Two machete blades and an entire weekend, wasted!

Hey, Maw! We goan be on tha tee-vee agin! Fetch me my best wearins!

Seriously. But not you guys. But all those other people. Yeah, them. Totally.

Ac-cen-tuate the positive! E-lim-inate the negative! Deliver Mr. In-between a beating like he's never imagined!

I love kitties, I love puppies, I love pretty ribbons, I love my mommy, and I love furious, raging hatred.

The city so nice, it smells like piss every time it rains.

Ah, if genitals could speak... They probably wouldn't have a whole lot to say.

Time for go to bed, little monkey. For the skinny on our Frank-hate, see the Mark Ryden section in Ephemera.

The biggest, baddest, drinkin'est host of Family Feud. The king of game show hosts. The man.

We're each a unique beast, but that doesn't necessarily mean we have to wear a drool bib at Shenanigan's.

Beside the F word, it's the best word going. Well, "crunk" is pretty good, too.

There are six million ways to die, and being crushed by a falling safe is definitely one of the goofiest.

The best thing about stairs is that they hardly ever laugh at you. Just don't get on their bad side.

Just because you're not in the military doesn't mean you shouldn't carry a fully automatic firearm at all times.

Because your mommy's a Barbie doll and the one you call "Daddy?" is nothing but a dill pickle.

Because your daddy's a dill pickle and the one you call "Mommy?" is nothing but a Barbie doll.

Evil lurks where you least expect it.

You're a naughty little vegetarian, aren't you! Yes you are! I think you need a spanking!

Bringing people together is what it's about. Instead of "about", Canadians say "aboot". Doug Henning was Canadian.

All the enraged feminist ranting you can eat included free with purchase!

Nothing to see here. The new stuff is up top, cowboy. Love it or love it.

But acid loves Kali! And Kali loves PCP! But PCP's into Allah, who's all about crack! Religion sure is messy, huh?