Recently
Recently, not long ago, I masturbated until I ejaculated into my own carefully coiffed, very expensive hairdo. It was then that I decided to stop touching my wiener in an autoerotic fashion.
posted by Torso Fever at 7:30 AM
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Contemporarinessly
Contemporarinessly, in the not too distant past, I ate too much shit, to the point where I was vomiting shit, which, while amusingly ironic at the time, was still quite unpleasant. It was then that I decided to stick to drinking urine, like my hero, Howard Hughes. Or possibly drinking shit vomit.
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